A Radical Proposal Regarding the Cost of Weddings.

I saw an article a few months ago on Yahoo implying that if you want to have a wedding, it helps to marry someone who has money. Working class people are choosing to forgo marriage because it is too expensive to have the wedding that they want. They are choosing to spend their money on a new roof. Or a vacation. Or to put food on the table. How did this happen?

I have read that $20,000 to $25,000 is a “reasonable” amount to spend on a wedding. And then there is the honeymoon. I agree with Chandler – that’s a lot of money to spend on one party. (Friends).

It is my contention that marriage is too important to the lives of children to let cost be a deterrent. And then there is the moral imperative as well.

There are radical ways to cut costs and still have a party for your wedding.

Join a church and attend – For members in some churches, the cost involves paying the janitor to clean up afterward.

Have your pastor officiate – small fee may be involved.

Prepare your own food, or don’t have food. Have cake and punch only. And this is really radical – have a potluck. Putting on a wedding can be a ministry of a church.

Borrow decorations. Go to Michaels and buy your fake flowers on 50% off. Grow flowers in your own garden. Ask other people to grow flowers for you. There are a lot of pretty flowers.

Buy your dress on clearance, or borrow one.

Have a best man and a maid of honor, only. One of my nieces chose that option. There is only one dress to choose. Limit the number of bridesmaids.

Find a photographer who needs the business enough to negotiate prices. Split the cost with your parents.

Marriage is too important to let cost be a barrier to love and making the right choice.

In 1985, my wedding cost $1,000 dollars, which was thrifty even by 1985 standards. I bought a dress on clearance for $75 and had it tailored to fit me (that cost $50). My mother bought my veil for $75. We were able to use the church for the fee to pay the janitor and my relatives helped clean up afterward. We prepared our own food for the reception. I picked 12 quarts of strawberries the morning of my wedding. The ladies of the church served the meal family style (my mother directed the cooking). We paid $375 for professional photography (the going rate was at least $1,000 in Grand Rapids, but we chose a photographer in our small town). We bought our own silk flowers and decorated the church ahead of time ourselves. We borrowed candelabras. My mother made the cake. I told my bridesmaids to wear a tea length dress in different pastel colors – choose something that flattered them and that they could wear to other events.

We have been happily married for 26 years. We had a nice party with the help of our friends and church. We were willing to put sweat equity into our wedding and it was a happy, satisfying experience.

Be radical.

In the interest of full disclosure, I have two daughters who may get married someday. This has caused me to give some thought to this subject. (We have told them we have a budget that we will spend on their weddings, if we are able).